Cream

My head spins and spins, without stopping, dizzying my senses, making my white room change to cream; it comes off of me and jumps around the chamber, bouncing of the walls, it close the window and bumps into the chair, sending it to the floor causing a mess; and far from me I hear a laugh.

I never stopped being a kid, even now that I have grown, not even the darkest night can break my infantilism, I enjoy every moment with a smile, even this quick passages into insanity; I submerge in the whiteness of my room, I submerge in its color, in this white rainbow inside this place, and in this color, I vanish…

The thousands of songs are repeated inside my mind, sitting in the albino and untrue infinity I hear everything repeating itself, and in my state of poor sanity I am in, I feel the songs making me enjoy my madness, I feel colors coming to me, and the room stops being white, it turns to lucid colors, and my eyes get filled with tears, because the tunes, start to end.

And that person, the one that squeezed my mind in such way that I couldn’t think about anything else than of going mad and of damaging myself, keeps repeating its toxic words in front of me, and wants to keep me locked in this cage that was forged with words, but that person won’t imprison my mind forever.

I take my everyday pills to heal my mind, which has gotten better; and to my mind comes a vortex of sky, a tunnel of clouds and blue that absorbs the roof of my room, and absorbs its walls, it leaves me sitting on the pale floor, surrounded of sky, and the red door of my room waits before me, the lies and rumors that were spread, the ways to end myself that I imagined, my end, everything, staggers, breaks, it all staggers before my eyes, and falls.

It’s been so long without going out, my mind is free from its cage, I take my purple backpack and open my red door, when I leave my room I feel the pale blue mist invading my garden, my sidewalk, my outside, how much did I miss this, the Sun caressing my skin, I missed that, I walk forward even when my future is untrue and foggy, I forget that at a time I heard comments stain my image, while this Tuesday embraces me, I will smile.

I am forgiven for locking me up and letting such putrefactive words affect me, that sleep that invaded me when I saw the light, expires from me; I walk by the park and the light that lightens me cleans my mistakes, I am me again, or a new me, I am.

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